Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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