I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
