i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
