my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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