You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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