Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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