Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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