So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
