I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
