no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
