I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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