im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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