Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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