so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
