DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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