grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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