i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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