My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
