NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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