People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
