vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Bring me that man meat
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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