We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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