He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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