Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize