I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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