return my video game
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
