Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
