He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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