A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
