He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
