ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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