Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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