Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
