I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
