So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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