thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we're so committed to being not committed
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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