dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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