This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
