Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
