I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sorry my hands just texted you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
