i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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