he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
