We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
