Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I looked at my own cervix.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
