dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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