I wannas sexs uuuuu
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
