Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
