would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
