Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
