My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
