I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
