I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
