Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
