There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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