bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize