So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
