have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize