I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
