I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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