No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
