seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i drank out of a bidet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize