He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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