Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She needs sedatives and a leash
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize